Why do so many Filipino men suffer in silence? A closer look at how cultural expectations and toxic masculinity shape mental health stigma in the Philippines.
Men will do everything to avoid therapy, yet they’ll try just about anything else. This has become a long-running internet joke that has gained attention. It’s a common topic these days, and one tweet captures it perfectly:
You might be wondering, why is it that men don’t talk about their mental health?
Many in the Philippines overlook men’s mental health. A popular explanation is that Filipino men struggle to talk about it because of the stereotype of being “barako,” or a “tough guy”, in English translation.
This silence is often rooted from toxic masculinity, where societal expectations make it hard for men to openly express their feelings.
According to the National Center for Health Statistics, one in ten American men have depression and anxiety. Worldwide, one in five men will have anxiety at one point in their lives.
The Philippines has seen a rise in mental health issues among men, specifically aged 20-25. This demographic is also the most influenced by toxic masculinity, which emphasizes the need for immediate intervention.
The “Barako” Ideal and Emotional Repression
What Is Toxic Masculinity?
Toxic masculinity refers to a set of cultural and societal norms that define “manliness” which can be harmful to themselves and those around them. It involves suppressing emotions, displaying aggression, and avoiding anything considered “feminine”
In Filipino culture, toxic masculinity can be traced back to historical influences and the traditional family roles. As a patriarchal country, men are often expected to be providers, protectors, or leaders.
As they carry significant responsibilities and pressures, they are taught to not be driven by emotions. This stigma has prompted men to hide their masculine shells and never cry, take mental health breaks, talk about their problems, or seek healthy coping methods.
The Problem With Resilience
Filipinos are taught to be resilient – “kayang-kaya mo yan” (“You can handle it”) is a commonly used phrase. However, beneath this culture of resilience is a harmful belief that emotional or mental health struggles are a weakness rather than a legitimate health condition.
Admitting to depression or anxiety exposes a vulnerable side of Filipino men. It makes them feel as though they are not “real men” or strong enough, making it difficult to get the mental health support they need.
Many Filipino families brush aside or avoid mental health conversations. They are advised to “Pray the depression away” or “Malungkot ka lang, kumain ka at matulog ng maaga” (You’re just sad, eat, and sleep early).
This implies that emotional well-being can be easily fixed through religion or basic self-care. These responses—though often well-meaning—ignore the complexity of mental illness and invalidate those who suffer.
Generations have passed down these expectations, entrenching toxic masculinity in Filipino culture. Recognising its origins and impact can be crucial in order to address the mental health crisis among Filipino men. This way, we can break down these harmful norms and create a more supportive environment.
What Can We Do to Support Filipino Men’s Mental Health?
Filipino men often hesitate to talk about their mental health due to cultural expectations, stigma, and overall pressure to appear strong and manly. If you have a male friend or relative, below are a few meaningful ways to create a more supportive environment:
Normalise Conversations on Mental Health
One of the biggest barriers is the belief that discussing emotions is a sign of weakness. Men often talk openly about physical health. Why not mental health too?
To normalise these discussions, sharing personal stories, whether in person or through social media, may help. Additionally, provide them with appropriate resources where they can book a session with a licensed therapist.
Reassure them it is okay to open up and that you are there to support them during challenging times.
Raise Mental Health Awareness at an Early Age
Boys are not born emotionally closed off – they are raised that way. Hence, parents and educators must prioritise teaching their children self-expression and emotional regulation during the developmental stages.
This kind of emotional literacy in childhood lays the foundation for better mental health in adulthood, and helps boys grow into men and enter society with self-worth, empathy, and the strength to embrace vulnerability.
Create a Support Group
If there is a lack of resources, consider starting a support group. Creating a safe space for men to share their emotions fosters validation, and even a small circle of men who meet regularly to talk can change lives.
This helps them feel a sense of belonging, increases self-awareness, and augments a strong support system. These groups do not need to be big or complicated in structure.
If you or someone you know is struggling, support is available.
Help is just a call away. The National Center for Mental Health (NCMH) Crisis Hotline is available 24/7 at (02) 7989-8727 or (0917) 899-8727. Asking for help isn’t weakness–it’s a step towards healing.
