A viral TikTok with 4 million views claims that couples who post less are happier.
Scrolling through TikTok, you may have come across a viral video that’s making waves with over 4 million views. The creators share that couples who rarely post about each other on social media are actually the happiest. This idea has sparked tons of debate in the comments, with people either agreeing or defending their online love posts.
@ivehaditpodcast Couples that constantly post eachother online are a huge red flag 🚩 #fyp #foryoupage #viral #trending #couple #couplegoals #couplestiktok #couples #couplecomedy ♬ Theme from “Sex and the City” – TV Sounds Unlimited
But the big question remains: do happy couples really post less on social media? Is there some science behind this social media trend, or is it just another TikTok theory? We dive into the research and find out if less really is more when it comes to love and social media.
Social Media and Modern Relationships
Social media is now woven into the fabric of everyday life, and for many couples, platforms like Instagram, Facebook, and TikTok serve as a digital scrapbook. You’ll see everything from #CoupleGoals to perfectly curated anniversary posts, but do happy couples really post less on social media?
The viral TikTok video claims that couples who share fewer posts are happier because they aren’t seeking validation online. But is this true? Studies suggest that there’s more to it. Couples who prioritise real-life, personal interactions over online displays often experience stronger relationships.
A series of five studies conducted by researchers from Carnegie Mellon University and the University of Kansas explored the impact of online disclosure on romantic relationships. The research, led by Juwon Lee, a postdoctoral researcher at Carnegie Mellon’s Dietrich College of Humanities and Social Sciences, and Omri Gillath, a psychology professor at KU, delves into how sharing personal information online can affect intimacy and satisfaction between partners.
The study’s findings reveal that sharing too much personal information with large audiences on social media can actually harm romantic relationships by making partners feel less valued.
“Prior research has shown that self-disclosure positively affects offline relationships,” said Juwon Lee. “We wanted to explore whether that would remain the case in an online context, where users can share detailed information with large audiences – a phenomenon that typically wouldn’t be possible in person.”
Offline vs. Online Intimacy
A 2019 study found that offline disclosure—intimate, personal conversations shared privately—was key to building emotional closeness and relationship satisfaction. Couples who engaged in these private moments, away from the eyes of social media, reported higher levels of intimacy.
On the flip side, the study revealed that public online disclosure, where personal details are shared with a large, mixed audience, can actually weaken intimacy. This means that constantly posting about your relationship online might be doing more harm than good.
So, when it comes to answering the question, do happy couples really post less on social media? The research seems to point to yes.
Couples who are secure in their relationship may also feel less of a need to “prove” their happiness to others. According to the study, these couples prioritise private interactions, which naturally lead to stronger emotional bonds.
In contrast, couples who frequently post about their love life might be looking for external validation. This could mask insecurities within the relationship, as suggested by psychologists, rather than being a sign of genuine contentment.
It’s downright embarrassing how performative some couples are on social media
byu/FaithInStrangers94 inCasualConversation
Why Less Is More
One of the key findings from the study is how the inclusivity of the audience impacts relationship intimacy. Couples who post personal details to a wide audience – whether it’s hundreds of friends or even the public – may unintentionally diminish the emotional value of their disclosure.
The study shows that happy couples really post less on social media because they recognise that keeping certain moments private nurtures their bond.
When intimate details are shared with a large audience, the exclusivity of that information fades. The 2019 research explains that the more inclusive a post is—meaning the more people it’s shared with—the less special it feels to the couple involved.
This is why couples who post less and keep their relationship off the social media radar tend to report higher levels of satisfaction. The exclusivity of their private moments fosters a deeper connection.
@dr.justindarienzo Be bold & send this to your partner! #fyp #fypシ #drdarienzo #darienzopsychology #psychologist #clinicalpsychologist #forensic #forensicpsychologist #funfacts #tipsandtricks #happycouple #socialmedia #evolutionarypsychology #bold Dr. Justin D’Arienzo, Board Certified Clinical Psychologist shares his thoughts on the study
Relationship-Focused Posts vs. Self-Focused Sharing
While the study showed that happy couples really post less on social media, it also uncovered an important nuance: not all posts have the same impact. The type of content matters significantly when it comes to preserving relationship intimacy and satisfaction.
The research found that when couples post about their relationship or partner, the negative effects of online sharing can be mitigated. These posts, which focus on the couple or their shared experiences, tend to reinforce a sense of unity.
In fact, couples who occasionally post about their partner in a positive, relationship-centred way often see neutral or even slightly positive effects on their intimacy.
“When you include a significant other in your post, perhaps as confirming a relationship status online or posting a photo together, we found that it counters the negative effects of online disclosure, increasing the feelings of intimacy and satisfaction,” said Gillath.
So, Do Happy Couples Really Post Less on Social Media?
That said, it’s not just about how often couples post, but also what they post. Sharing relationship-focused content occasionally can actually strengthen the bond, but excessive self-focused or overly public posts can weaken the connection.
Ultimately, happy couples know that less is more, using social media less and focusing on real-life connections over online validation. In today’s social media-driven world, it’s easy to feel pressure to showcase your relationship.
But if the research is any indication, keeping some things offline might be the secret to lasting happiness.
