Perfectionism can drive ambition, but at what cost? The pursuit of flawlessness can lead to stress, self-doubt, and even physical health issues.
Perfectionism is a double-edged sword that many of us grapple with on a daily basis, enticing us with the promise of excellence, yet sowing seeds of self-doubt and anxiety.
From spending an excessive amount of time rewriting every single email, to meticulously reworking even the simplest of tasks, the continuous pursuit for flawlessness can be a relentless taskmaster, leaving us drained and distressed.
So, what happens when our need for perfection goes too far?
What Makes Us Perfectionists?
Perfectionism involves setting extremely high standards for yourself, and – as many of us can verify from personal experience – anyone can hold this characteristic.
But if you’d like to check if you’ve got any perfectionistic tendencies of your own, here are a few signs to look out for that go beyond just having rather lofty goals:
- Being excessively critical of yourself and having difficulty coming to terms with mistakes you make, even when they’re small.
- Finding that you often procrastinate on tasks, because you’re afraid that you can’t accomplish it flawlessly.
- A strong preference for structure, such as needing your desk to be organised just so.
It can stem from a variety of factors, including internal causes. Certain personality traits, such as a high level of conscientiousness or a sensitivity towards criticism, can contribute to the development of perfectionism.
Another common factor is external pressure. Our desire to appear perfect can be influenced by societal norms, and this is especially true in Asian cultures. We’re all familiar with the need to meet high parental demands – such as getting into a top university and attaining a prestigious job – and the concept of “saving face”.
Even within the academic or work setting, which displays a priority towards good grades and glowing performance reviews, we’re taught the importance of external validation and approval, and to avoid failure. This compels us to strive for perfection to attain the results expected of us, especially if we’re in high-pressure fields of study or work environments, where competition is rife.
And let’s not forget the role of social media, which is filled to the brim with representations of perfect lifestyles. We are regular witnesses to such imagery, which can cause us to internalise incredible ideals while feeling like our own lives are inadequate.
The Dark Side of Perfectionism
While perfectionism can seem like a pretty negative notion, let’s be clear that this is not always the case.
Adaptive perfectionists are achievement-oriented beings who aim for greatness in a healthy way. They enjoy being challenged and see failures as an opportunity for growth.
But if you’re a perfectionist whose driving force is a fear of failure and judgement, then your need to be exemplary can be a burden to your wellbeing.
Stifles Progress
Perfectionism can inhibit creativity and personal growth, because the need for faultless results and the fear of failure means that you’re not willing to take risks.
After all, if you can’t do it perfectly, why do it at all, right?
But failure is such a normal part of life. When we fear it, it can paralyse us into inaction – which explains why perfectionists procrastinate so much.
How did you overcome or lower down your perfectionism tendencies?
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“Sometimes, the pursuit of perfection takes away the opportunity to learn and grow. The person who avoids tasks may view it as trying to ‘get things right’, but this can lead to a poorer ability to adapt, which can be unhealthy,” explained Ms Kok Yun Fern, a Clinical Psychologist from Heartscape Psychology, in CNA.
And on the productivity side of things, spending too much time constantly tweaking every little detail of a project reduces efficiency and delays the completion of your task, which has implications on your work performance. Furthermore, the stress and effort involved in trying to attain a goal that is always beyond our reach can overwhelm us, leading to burnout.
Affects Your Mental State
Perfectionism gives us the idea that our self-worth is tied to our achievements. When we add how highly critical we can be to ourselves, the constant pressure and doubt are almost akin to self-abuse, which comes with a whole host of problems.
Furthermore, being unable to meet your goals can cause you to ruminate over your perceived “ineptness” and wallow in negative emotions, while diminishing your self-esteem. This can perpetuate a cycle of self-criticism and dissatisfaction, build up anxiety and depression, and ultimately impact your overall mental health.
Harms Your Physical Health
If you think the side effects of perfectionism end at your psyche, you’d be wrong.
Our need for control and structure can actually cause us to develop eating disorders like orthorexia nervosa, which is a detrimental fixation for healthy eating.
Furthermore, perfectionists also have a greater likelihood of developing conditions such as high blood pressure, migraines, and even cardiovascular diseases.
Learning to Cope With Perfectionism
Feeling the desire to be perfect in every way is a heavy cross to bear.
So if you want to break this self-sabotaging habit, it’s important to first acknowledge that perfection is unattainable, and making mistakes is a natural part of growth.
One method that could help is mental distancing. If you catch yourself obsessing over a setback, avoid the use of first-person language in your internal dialogue. This may help you reframe the issue more objectively and promote constructive criticism.
You can also work to break down any major objectives into smaller, more manageable milestones, and reassess the situation as you go along. You’re more likely to accomplish your goals this way.
You can even try to exercise imperfection by delving into activities where the concept of “perfection” is highly subjective, such as in sports and artistic endeavours. This can help you realise that things are fine even if they don’t go as planned.
If all else fails, simply reach out to a loved one for a different perspective, or to just voice out your worries. Consider consulting with a therapist, who can provide an unbiased view and offer advice for improvement.
Remember, it’s okay to be imperfect – it’s what makes us human.
External References
- Ahuja, N. (2024, March 5). Perfectionism and Burnout: A Surgeon’s Insight. Psychology Today. Retrieved from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/sg/blog/striving-high/202403/perfectionism-and-burnout-a-surgeons-insight
- Caron, C. (2024, April 17). How to be less self-critical when perfectionism is a trap. CNA. Retrieved from: https://cnalifestyle.channelnewsasia.com/wellness/perfectionism-social-comparison-388421
- Cleveland Clinic. (2023, May 4). 5 Signs That You Might Be a Perfectionist — and How To Find Balance. Retrieved from: https://health.clevelandclinic.org/signs-of-perfectionism
- Dorwart, L. (2023, September 19). Understanding the Psychology Behind Perfectionism. Verywell Health. Retrieved from: https://www.verywellhealth.com/perfectionism-5323816
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